TMWLC: Week 3, Days 5 & 6
Day XIX: Have you ever lied to avoid eating something?
I’ve lied that I’m vegetarian in some situations in order to be given a healthier option. I also sometimes tell people I’m not hungry when I am because I’d rather suffer it out and have something else later.
Day XX: Do you binge? How often and what triggers it?
Yes, sometimes. There are a lot of very complicated reasons, but I think it’s a power thing. Some crazy part of my brain makes me feel like I’m taking a step toward domination and control by taking what I want. Want to eat chocolate cake? Well nobody can stop me! I can eat the whole thing if I want and enjoy every bite. The problem is, once I trigger that feeling, nothing is enough. I’m like an extremely poor person who has no desire for anything more than $100 to pay their bills, but if you put them in a room full of money and tell them to take what they want, are they still going to want only $100? Before they know it, they are grabbing everything in sight. Afterward, I feel miserable, not because I fear gaining weight, but because I know that I lost control and let my gluttony make a fool out of me.
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